So… that first date? Not so much. He looked great from a distance, but he turned out to be old and stuck in his outdated ways. And he smelled like about 30 years of stale cigarette smoke. (Blechk!) We did our best to make a connection, but just… no.

He had a really cute friend, though, who lived just around the corner. We hooked up the next night, so I’ve had a chance to give him the complete once-over. Talk about appearances being deceiving! Almost modest on the outside, but way nicer on the inside. He has a much more up-to-date attitude, and seems to be a lot of fun. And he was much… bigger than I’d thought. It’s true what they say about the size of…

Okay, I think I’m losing control of this metaphor. I’d better stop before it gets any worse!